Being Selfish is Being Soulful
Jun 15, 2022
I grew up priding myself that I was not a selfish person. That I made sure that I was caring for other’s feelings first, almost always at the sake of my own. I thought being selfless made me a more noble person, a more worthy one. I thought it would make people love me more and it was this need for love and validation that perpetuated the never-ending cycle of people pleasing and putting myself last.
I have since learned that being selfless was one of the worst acts of harm I self-inflicted over the years. Selflessness, although it built character and people praised me for it, depleted all reserves of self-love I naturally had from birth.
I grew up not knowing who I was but depleting my energy focusing on everyone else and making sure that I made them happy. In doing so, I chose a life where my happiness was inconsequential. I didn’t know what happiness was. In all honesty, I feared happiness. For me, it was seen as something fleeting and unsustainable. The contrast of the pain that followed moments of joy felt so difficult to endure that often I chose to just stay in a state of misery, rather than feeling good for a few moments, only to have it replaced with an invigorated aching from the mind. I can remember specific times of these fleeting moments of joy. One was being on a rollercoaster with my children at an amusement park in England. I felt such an intense sense of pleasure and within seconds, the mind came in full force and told me that it wouldn’t last. Then it started reminding me of all the things in life I wasn’t happy with, and poof, my happiness ended abruptly, and I went back to the depths of mind-based fear energies. Now, I can understand that those moments of intense JOY was SOUL popping in to say “hello”. They were beautiful moments of presence. Mind stole them from me immediately and got me back in the past or the future and didn’t allow me to just BE in the moment.
I now never fear my moments of Joy being overtaken by misery or depression. I know how to keep the feeling of joy in my life consistently and it is all through soul alignment and presence. I can spot the mind very quickly now and I always know that if I come back to presence, the pain of the mind will shortly subside, and I’ll return to the place of peace that I had always yearned for.
But therefore, being selfish is so important to your ascension, when you are constantly being selfless and doing things for others that don’t make you happy, you are dipping into the lower energy vibrations of mind. Being selfish allows you to focus on making yourself happy and brings you back to the state you were born to be, which is in love, peace, or joy. We have been taught the opposite our whole lives…to please others and be selfless to be the best person we can be. But that is not truth. At least not SOUL’s truth. SOUL is always wanting you to be happy. How can you be happy if you are not doing things for yourself that make you happy??
When my daughters request me to take them somewhere, I used to always say “yes” because I wanted to make sure they got their wants met. But in doing so, I’d become frustrated and resentful having to go somewhere that I didn’t want to be. I thought this is what made me a great mom (and to others, it did). But I was miserable. I walked around in a perpetual state of gloom. Fast forward to now. I only say “yes” if I will be satisfied in going. I only say yes to things that bring me joy. My kids may get upset they can’t go everywhere they ask now, but in turn, they are living with a mom that is so full of happiness, joy and laughter that it overflows onto them all day every day. Me being selfish, has made a more enjoyable me to live with. Me being selfish is teaching my kids to not be people pleasers and to focus on finding their own joy in life rather than to conform to other’s needs.
Being selfish is a good thing! No one can convince me otherwise now. I will strive to live a selfish life, and in doing so…naturally those around me will soak up SOUL!
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