Can You Be Friends with Your Twin Flame?

If You would have asked me this question a year ago, the answer would have been a resounding “NO”! Possibly even an emphatic “Hell No”, depending on the moment the question was asked of me.

Today, the answer to that question is not as black and white as it once was.  I have gone through so much personal growth in my spiritual journey that answering this question is not as easy as it once was.

I remember laying in bed with my person before separation.  At the specific time of this story, my energy was calm, and I was in a good place. But a conversation came up along with irrelevant questions from the mind (future based questions) …you know those potentially detrimental “what if’s? Well, the “what if” we broke up question came up at this time.  I remember my person telling me he would be ok and that he’d want to remain friends.  That he couldn’t picture a life without me in it, even if it were only as friends.  This answer shook me…but of course the addictive energy made me press on.  “Well, what if I were dating someone else, would you still be ok with that?”  And his answer was again, a cool, calm, “of course, if it meant you were happy.”

My energy surged through the roof.  I was incredulous.  How could this person who was my everything, sit there calmly and tell me he was ok with being friends with me, as well as see me with another man? I couldn’t handle the painful energy that rose within at that moment. It sent me for a loop.  I was so entrenched in mind from that moment on. Honestly, I couldn’t tell you how the rest of the conversation went because from that moment on, I was in the depths of the addictive all-consuming energy.  The thought of me not being with him coupled with the thought of him with someone else was enough to make me feel sick.  My stomach hurt (that’s where I always felt my addictive energy surge) and I couldn’t handle the pain that was being resurrected at that moment.

That situation was before separation.  And not too long before.  Everything after separation changed. I’m now in a place after a lot of inner work and surrendering where I have learned how to balance and manage my energy when it comes to my person.  I still have triggers; those are a part of this connection.  But I can spot them and recognize them for what they are, and I can release or pull in the energy (whichever is needed at the time).

So, if you were to ask that question to me today, “Can you be friends with your Twin Flame?” my answer would be yes and no.  Yes, I could manage a friendship.  My energy would surge, and I would know how to calm it down, but I could do it.  Now the “No” part comes from…would I want to do it? And that answer is no.  I would not want to be friends with him.  Although I could balance the energy like the boss that I am, it would still be an all-consuming endeavor and one that would take me off my soul purpose and distract me from my intention of living my best life.  Every day, I choose me and my happiness and peace.  That is what my daily surrender is.  This connection will always be work.  It will always be a steppingstone to a higher sense of spirituality and oneness with soul, but it will always be about me. And today and every day, I choose me and my happiness.