How to Use Your Love Language to Align with Soul

We all have a love language.  One in which we express our love to others, and one in which we get our love buckets filled. For those that haven’t heard of love languages, there are five. Touch, praise, acts of kindness, gifts, and quality time. You can have a different love language that you like to give versus one in which you like to receive.

I have come to realize over the last few years that my two dominant love languages for receiving are touch and quality time, while my love language for giving are gifts and acts of kindness.

How does one use their love language to align with soul? You are going to figure out which love language is your receiving language, and you are going to start figuring out ways in which you can do these things for yourself.  Getting deeper into soul is all about loving and focusing on YOU. It is listening to your energy, your needs, your desires and then making sure you are following that guidance system.

For example, my love languages are touch and quality time. I know it sounds weird to say that I should touch myself (and I don’t mean in a sexual way), but something as simple as rubbing my hands together, or lying in bed and wrapping my arms around myself (yes, I do this when I am feeling low in the love bucket).  I don’t need anyone anymore to complete me or make me feel loved.  I bring that to myself.

With quality time, I try to spend time each day with myself either going for a walk, a quiet relaxing bath, or sometimes even just taking a drive.

I grew up thinking that I needed someone else to make me “feel loved”, but the truth is that the only way I can feel love is to love myself.  When self-love is overflowing, there is no need to seek it from outside. You have everything you need within.

Once you figure this out, you become love…because that is what soul is.  The more you align with soul, the more you feel love for yourself and all around you.  It’s truly incredible.  What is so cool about being able to see this perspective of self-love to self, is once you are aligned, you are in a unique position where you can give back tenfold. You can start to see what others love languages are and you can use those to help them feel good (until they can be in a place to do it for themselves). 

This is an incredibly helpful tool, especially for those with children.  Children, although pure soul when they are in play mode, seek a parent or caregivers guidance to know that they are special and loved.  It is through this love that they can establish a confident relationship with themselves.  Once they know that the most important people around them love them, they can feel safe to explore the world in a way that they know they will always have someone there that won’t judge and will love them through all the mistakes.  Because soul doesn’t judge, and soul doesn’t look back.  Aligning with soul, will create that safe space for your kids. And then determine their love language.  My oldest likes quality time, my middle daughter likes touch and gifts, and my youngest likes quality time and praise.  Knowing their love language, I can individualize how I show them they are special.  It is fruitless to give gifts to a child (to show your love), if that is not what fills their love bucket.  But you need to be in tune, not only with them, but more importantly with yourself to freely give.  Because when you are aligned with soul, you are pure love, and it makes it so easy to show that and give that love to others.

The next time you are feeling like you need to look outside of yourself to feel good…to feel loved.  I want you to sit with yourself and figure out (if you don’t already know) and determine your love language.  Then you show yourself that love that makes you feel good.  If your love language is gifts, buy yourself something you normally wouldn’t splurge on. If your love language is acts of kindness, do something nice for yourself like make a picnic lunch and sit in a park. Do for yourself, something that you’d like someone else to do for you.  Because you don’t need someone else…you have always been and will always be enough.